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6th Entry - November 2013

“I’m miserable. Miserable, miserable. I don’t know why. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m irritable all the time and I don’t feel well. I’m anxious all the time. I’m stressed and it’s horrible. Mom is just non-responsive. I mean she acknowledges me but it’s like she doesn’t see me. Rose and Bella are extra annoying and I get angry so quickly and then it fades and I just feel hollow. I’m sitting at the table with Mom and Dad. Mom is playing with Anastasia and ignoring me. I’m lonely and miserable. I just want to sleep, except I’m scared. I feel nauseous. It’s awful. I feel sad. Like I’m going to cry the whole time.”

I don't know what comment to add to this post. So I think I'll talk about Rose and Bella. Rose is 20 now and Bella just turned 17. I'm currently 18, turning 19 in October. When I got sick I withdrew a lot and became very distant with both of my sisters. They didn't know how to handle me and there was a lot of conflict. I love them both dearly but things between us are strained. I feel left out because for about 4 years they functioned and bonded without me. Things are slowly getting better but it's difficult because they are also not doing so well at the moment. 

E.H. 

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