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34th Entry - 26 January 2015, 10pm

“Mom is being mean. She is yelling and cursing. I did everything she asked me to, I didn’t complain about waiting, I covered my books, I did my homework at school. And then I’m tired and I ask for help with my dishes and no. It’s too much. I bet if Rose had asked they would have said yes. Why can’t they just understand instead of judging. Mom said she hates me and that it’s no wonder I’m alone. Parents are supposed to love you no matter what. And I don’t think mine do anymore. That literally means I’m alone in the world. 16 and alone. Why can they just not try and understand the reasons behind the things I do. Instead they just get mad. And that’s not what Richard said they are supposed to do. And they agreed. It’s not fair. Why don’t they get it? They never do. I’m just tired. I tried really hard today.” 

My Mom is one of the most wonderful people I know. She is kind and loving and wise and sweet. She cares about people more than is expected and she loves with such loyalty. Growing up she was strict but loving and we never went wanting. As I grew up my Mom became a friend and we were really close. When I got sick it hurt her a lot and I because she was the one who dealt with me the most, she got the worst side of my illness. The nasty and irrational side. It was hectic and it put a lot of strain on her. I wish some of the incidents had been handled better but, I know her and Dad did the best that they could. Now that I'm doing a bit better, her and I have a strained relationship a lot of the time. My illness changed Mom and showed her that she needed to take care of herself before she took care of other people or she would just waste away. She is doing that now, but a little on the extreme side. Then again, it could just seem like that because I'm not used to it. I love my Mom and want nothing more than happiness for her and Dad, even if it means they aren't together. 

E.H.

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