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43rd Entry - 6 August 2015, 5pm

“So I’m still broken after the Jack thing. I cried for like an hour yesterday. He hates me. He seems to think I told Carly not to be his friend. Which isn’t true. I have done nothing wrong yet I have been dumped, broken and shat on. It sucks. Totally unfair. I always had completely pure motives for being Carly’s friend. Now Paige is involved and I’m just tired. Why can’t I catch a break? I just want a little happy in my life. I feel like a broken person. I miss him so much it hurts. I miss all the cute things he used to like the baby yawns. I miss the laughs and I miss having someone to talk to. I wish I knew what I’d done but I don’t. I honestly don’t know what I did to him. Now he’s moved on and likes Carly. Total suckatude. Would I go through it again? Would I be hurt again as long as I had the happy times too. Yes, I frickken would. What did I do that was so bad to deserve such sucking in my life? I wish God would do something and fix my life a little.” 

My time at high school was both wonderful and terrible. I loved classes and the learning but hated the drama. I was incredibly socially anxious and that made school hell sometimes. Now, I am better and more okay with myself but I imagine if I were put back into that situation I would end up anxious again. Not to the same degree but I would suffer. I had some wonderful friends at school that I still talk to now and then I have some friends who were just a convenience at the time, you know how it is in high school. But, I was privileged to be a part of a great school and will always think fondly of my time there. 

E.H.

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