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57th Entry - 31 May 2016, 7pm

"So this guy at school who I like, said he liked me. And then proceeded to pretty much ignore my existence. Which only proves that him and his friend were trying to mess with me. Which is cruel. I'm drowning in work. I'm miserable. Things at home suck because everyone is fighting. I look like a troll. I used to actually be reasonably pretty  and now I'm gross. It's just unfair. Why am I getting hit with everything at once? I just want one thing in my life to be good and safe and beautiful. I don't want this sadness. I don't want to spend my time crying. I don't want to spend even some of my time crying. But I'll end of on a positive note. That note being that I'm trying really hard. You know, at life. I'm also trying really hard to be happy. Neither one is going really well but I'm trying. So that has to count for something, Right? Also, I can tell that something is up because I can't settle on a book to read and I'm not doing my school work."

When I say I was gross looking it really wasn't me feeling sorry for myself or being dramatic. The medication that I was on gave me horrific acne and I looked really, really bad. People came up to me in shopping centres and asked if I was getting treatment. Which I was. And I love my dermatologist. He is a great guy and we get along really well. But even he was shocked at how bad my skin looked. 

E.H.

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