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85th Entry - 11 June 2017, 4pm

“So this weekend has been pretty good. I spent the weekend at John’s. Friday and Saturday. It was great. Friday we went for sushi with Richard, Josie and Sarah. It was quite lovely. Afterwards, John and I went for a McFlurry. Then on Saturday we went for breakfast with them again. Richard called Josie, John and I his children and it was so frickking cute. He then asked Mom if I could stay another night because John was sick and I didn’t want him going out. After breakfast at Woolworths in Somerset Mall we went and bought a ready-meal pasta for lunch and then went back home. That evening Aunty Lily made us roast chicken and veggies. Then we all watched “Ferris Beuller’s Day Off.” Which was lovely because John lay between my legs was nice and close to me. This moring John and I went to the Root 44 Market. Which was fun. John bought me a beautiful necklace and we got two books. We each had a smoothie and then John had sushi and I had noodles. We had to head back early because there was drama. I don’t want to get into it. John and I got back and calmed the situation down. He was so sweet and caring. Then he took me home. I saw Prof on Wednesday because I emailed him Tuesday night because I was worried. He said I’m on a down swing and he has increased my dosage of Quetoser to 450mg and an extra Rivitril to help with anxiety. It worked well this weekend even though I had an anxiety attack last night. But I handled it. Aunty Lily and I had a long chat this morning while John got ready. We spoke about her childhood and John as a baby and her bipolar. We also spoke about Mom and Dad and the girls. She told me that she was seeing Sarah as a psychiatrist before she went to see Prof. Which is hectic. I feel so bad for Richard and Aunty Lily. But also for John and Josie. It sucks for them all and I can imagine how they feel. I was Josie’s age when Dad left and she has handled it way better than I did She is really mature for 14 year old. She is going to be a really great woman one day.  I hope I get to see it. I’m fairly attached to John’s family so it’s scary, the thought of losing them too. I’m so happy with John. He is literally so wonderful. I have never, ever felt as loved as I do by him. He makes me feel beautiful and special and important. I love being with him and I hope we get the forever we talk about. I can imagine a future with him. Which is scary and silly and wonderful all at the same time. But I can see it and I want it.”


Quick note for this entry: Sarah is Dr Edgeley. Now that she isn’t my doctor anymore I call her Sarah. It was a weird transition. And Josie is John’s little sister. She is delightful. 

E.H.

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