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102nd Entry - 26 November 2017, 4pm

"Some days aren't as bad as others. I'm scared to write this but maybe things will get better. Who knows? I'm not okay. And I won't be for a while. But, some days are better than others. I still have that ache in my chest and I'm still hurt. I am beginning to think that John was wrong. I know he was. I'm sick and he left. That's not what you do when things get difficult. I'll never know what he was thinking. And I'm not saying it was totally his fault. We both were. But he still left. The only thing a relationship can't withstand is a person leaving. He knows this. And now I'm alone. Peter was right. I'll miss the comfort. And the support. But as the song says, I will learn to love again. It'll be difficult and it will take a while but life will go on. I can live without him. And Richard was wrong on the phone. He is supposed to mirror me and instead he defended John. And, I wasn't even bashing John. I'm stuck here and Richard hasn't visited. I'm allowed to call him, aren't I?"

E.H.

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