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113th Entry - 14 January 2018, 5pm

So it's been a weird week. I guess I should start with my being unhappy and miserable. I tried to talk about what was going on in my head but got shot down every time. So then I took some pills. But I never got to sleep in time so I got high and then went to Mom and Dad. So I went to the hospital. And then I was sent back to the clinic. And  who really know how long I'll have to be year. So things are hectic and super crazy. And it sounds like I blaming my family but I am not . I take full responsibility for trying kill myself. I Being at war with your own mind is long, slow and terribly lonely process. I send light and love to each person out there that wakes up unhappy. I am still sad about John. I feel like if we were talking then... I don't. But I do know that my decision had nothing to do with John. I'm home now. Everyone thinks it's too early but I don't think so. But who knows about anything. This medication  I was on had me so high. And I hate that feeling. Hate it. And the only high I've ever been was prescription. I don't like not being in control of my body. Anyway, stay happy little chickens
 
E.H.

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